


Hell hath no Fury...

by chailover



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Chopsticks, Food, Gen, Team as Family, dgmkinkmeme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:02:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24845725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chailover/pseuds/chailover
Summary: For: dgmkinkmemePrompt: Kanda and Lenalee try to teach Lavi and Allen how to use chopsticks. Bonus points for adorably amounts FAIL on Lavi and Allen's part, and frustration on Kanda and Lenalee's end. (I meant for this to be a non-smut request^^;;;) Much love to the anon who attempts this!
Relationships: Kanda Yuu & Allen Walker, Kanda Yuu & Lavi, Kanda Yuu & Lavi & Lenalee Lee & Allen Walker, Lavi & Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee & Allen Walker
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	Hell hath no Fury...

**Author's Note:**

> Original Notes: zaru soba - soba with cold dipping sauce - it seems to be what Kanda eats most of the time. My personal opinion is that both Lavi and Allen know how to use chopsticks, as one has traveled extensively and the other is an absolute glutton. ^_^ But, the prompt was SO cute.
> 
> Now notes: Archiving some older things that I used to have on LJ only. The dgmkinkmeme has been deleted/defunct for a long time now, but I had a lot of fun with the prompts I had worked on.

**

"What are you two doing?"

Allen looked up from his lunch and his face couldn't quite decide whether it wanted to smile or frown at the sight of Linali and Kanda standing in front of his table, holding their own trays. Linali looked curious while Kanda looked like he wanted to be somewhere else, preferably as far away from annoying Beansprouts as possible.

"Linali, Yuu!" Lavi grinned from his seat to Allen's side. "Sit, sit!" As soon as they had done that (Linali had to give Kanda a Look), his voice dropped down to a theatrical whisper, "we're trying to unlock the deep, dark mysteries of Asian eating utensils." He pointed with his chopsticks - held as if they were drumsticks - at Allen's small tray of soba. "Allen was going to eat it with a fork, and I told him that's the same as desecrating it."

"But I'm hungry....." Allen groaned, trying uselessly to shovel the slippery noodles from the small cup of dipping sauce, to no avail.

"You're not holding it right!" Lavi declared, holding his own pair up. "Like this."

"...you're holding it a bit wrong, Lavi," Linali said tactfully.

Less tactfully, Kanda said, "You're trying to teach him when you can't even use them right? Dumbass."

Normally, Allen would have immediately jumped to Lavi's defense (well, to _anyone's_ defense, actually. It was KANDA, after all), but he had only finished about half of his usual food before reaching the soba, and the whole exercise Lavi started meant that he hadn't eaten anything for the last five minutes. And Lavi was teaching him _wrong_??? "Lavi!"

"What, it works!" Lavi defended himself, demonstrating by using his chopsticks to shove the beef stirfy and rice into his mouth. Allen wailed and Linali and Kanda both looked mildly horrified.

"Stop that, you barbarian." Kanda hissed.

Unfortunately, while Lavi's method was uncouth, it did work for rice and meat. Allen was not nearly as lucky, since eating zaru soba actually required chopstick skills that were one level up from a five year old's. "Linali, help me?" he pleaded.

Linali smiled and scooted over to sit next to Allen. "Of course. You'll want to hold them like this." She demonstrated. "The bottom chopstick stays still, and you use your index fingers and thumb to move the top one..."

Allen tried to mimic her hand position. It did look slightly better than what Lavi had shown him. He frowned in concentration as he reached for a noodle, and got it up halfway to his mouth before it slipped through again, landing with a plop back in the sauce. He looked at it with naked dismay.

"You were close," Linali said encouragingly. "Here, your hand's a little off..." She reached over and took Allen's right hand in both of her own, moving his fingers into the correct positions. "You don't have to grip hard, and it might be easier if you swirl the chopsticks a little, like when you eat spaghetti with a fork."

"O-okay." Allen stuttered, trying to not blush. He really, really, really wished he hadn't worn gloves today. "Um...like this?"

"It looks good."

He tried again, and this time managed to actually eat the noodle. "......I did it!"

"That's great, Allen-kun!"

Kanda scoffed. "Now try it with more than one noodle, beansprout." He wielded his own chopsticks with the same skill as he did Mugen, and started demolishing his own soba. Allen swallowed, but thankfully the din in the mess hall was loud enough to drown out his loudly growling stomach.

"It's ALLEN. And fine, I WILL." Allen cheated and tried the swirling-like-fork-with-spaghetti technique that Linali had imparted, and got a mouthful of the noodles this time. Linali, judging her services were no longer needed, started on her own meal.

Lavi grinned. "Great, beansprout!"

"Don't call me that!" Allen pointed at Lavi with his chopsticks and missed the wince by both Linali and Kanda, "You were teaching me wrong!"

"Hey, I gave you the basics!" Lavi protested.

Without a word, Linali reached out and placed a hand on Allen's wrist. Surprised, Allen let her push his hand down. "Please don't point with your chopsticks, Allen-kun." She said.

He blushed. Now that she said it, he did recall something about basic table manners. "Sorry."

Kanda snorted. Then, in a motion almost too fast to see, he reached out and plucked a piece of meat off Lavi's plate.

"Hey-HEY, that was mine-" Lavi tried to defend his food, to no avail. "Yuu! Stop it-I was going to eat that - you jerk!" His own hand flashed out and they started a no-holds-barred chopsticks fight.

Allen gaped. Linali sighed.

"Boys." She rolled her eyes. "Kanda, stop that," she admonished when Kanda reached for Mugen and Lavi took the momentary distraction to reach in and grab nearly all the noodles from Kanda's tray. He crowed in triumph as he held it up.

"HA! Looks like it's my win......." He trailed off, realizing that Allen was staring at him. At his hand, holding the chopsticks that held the noodles. In the exact same position as Linali had shown him. The younger boy's shoulders were shaking. Hell hath no fury like Allen denied his food. "Um, Allen........"

"................you taught me wrong....on PURPOSE?!?!?!!"

Kanda finished his noodles, ignoring the din in the mess hall, now greatly augmented. "Idiots." He concluded.

**End

**Author's Note:**

> Literally been years since I last read the DGM manga, but it was an old favorite. Might have to look it up again sometime to see if it ever ended. :Db. Stay safe and healthy, everyone.


End file.
